


where the shivers won't find you

by icedmachinery, icemachine



Category: Doom Patrol (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, I wrote this while high
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:14:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25456006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icedmachinery/pseuds/icedmachinery, https://archiveofourown.org/users/icemachine/pseuds/icemachine
Summary: Xe has waded through every past memory, every thought that has ever invaded Larry’s mind—And loved. Not in a way that can be misconstrued, but in a way that can be read backwards, in a way that holds no cracks or fragments—-a whole love, purity, a deep platonic Shakespearean devotion.
Relationships: Keeg Bovo & Larry Trainor
Comments: 3
Kudos: 25





	where the shivers won't find you

**Author's Note:**

> took sativa for the first time, word vomit

Once upon a time—-

_ Keeg does not know this story. _

In a dimension where  _ once upon a time and happily ever afters  _ exist, where stories begin in the middle of the action, exposition suffering, Keeg Bovo does not know any story as tragic as Larry Trainor’s. In the Negative Space, xe had read fables, stories of the past, gem-golden prophecies of the future, and the darkened tragic nature of  _ those  _ stories had been varied—-some horrific, some causing an optimism flow, but even in xer lack of human knowledge, despite xer escaped experiences with human morality—--Keeg knows every story, can predict it all, but xe does not know this one until xer efforts pump the blood through Larry’s body and bar it from flowing through his mouth. 

Keeg does not remember how xe left the Negative Space. Above the Earth xe had made contact with others of xer kind, some exiled and some on missions to explore—-but Keeg xerself cannot hold the memory of it.  _ It’s like a human mind’s coping mechanism,  _ xe thinks, feels a burst of anger at the thought, which is like starlight in its pulse,  _ the way you block out memories that you cannot cope with remembering. _

Maybe Keeg and Larry are more alike than xe originally thought.

+

They take Larry to a special room, after he kills the surgeons and doctors.

It’s special, xe hears, it can contain the radiation that his body emits. Keeg can feel the hesitation, experiences Larry’s anguish as if it is xer own, as Larry thinks about their fates—-xe would be breathless if xe possessed lungs, xe would be chosen, xe would allow xerself to scream until xer throat rasped (if xe had a throat of xer own, if xe had a body, if xe could touch—-)

_ IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. YOU DID NOT DO THIS. _

Xe feels a pull towards Larry Trainor—-a pull that xe has never felt, a magnetizing pull that has leaked into every part of xer being to rot it, rot rot rot. Downfall— _ -no.  _ No. It is more like a weakness, Larry injecting weakness into xer center and ruining xer. Keeg was created to feel things. Keeg was born into this vast universe to feel emotions and those emotions dictate  _ everything,  _ the entire world in xer whitened eyes turnspinning to the heart—-something xe both lacks physically and possesses too much of.

Larry creates and sparks weakness inside of Keeg. They have only been merged for a short amount of time, but xe has waded through every past memory, every thought that has ever invaded Larry’s mind—

  
  


And loved. Not in a way that can be misconstrued, but in a way that can be read backwards, in a way that holds no cracks or fragments—-a whole love, purity, a deep platonic Shakespearean devotion. Keeg is not good with words. Xe was, once, but it is different now. Xe can only think to xerself:  _ this man — Larry Trainor —- is life itself. He represents downfall---perhaps it is a fitting word after all. Larry Trainor breathes through lungs which he does hold, Larry Trainor’s breaths are tainted and corrupt, but I care for each breath, I cradle each shard of air as it enters.  _

The voice of someone from his past booms through the loneliness. Xe settles in to this body, and his arms glow and shimmer bluewhite,  _ comfort, xe must—- _

+

They eventually take Larry out of his special room, and shove him in a cylindrical container, just another container, more containment and fear. Keeg hears two loud bangs——--

When Larry wakes up, Agent Charles Forsythe introduces himself and says that his participation in whatever they have planned is  _ compulsory.  _ When Larry protests—--fiery, an admirable anger, something  _ warm —  _ a thick gas enters the space, and silence, for the first time an open, healing silence.

Keeg wants to turn him inside out, to witness his suffering, fears xer own mind. Xe understands the nature of this man. He is nothing like Larry; he is dead, cold, and Larry is also dead and cold but in a way that creates hope inside of Keeg like  _ fire.  _ Larry’s deadness is nothing like Forsythe’s deadness.

+

The first time that they punish Larry with the searing electricity, xe discovers a newer emotion called  _ anger.  _ Xe does not expose the reality of xer existence; that is too risky, xe thinks,  _ not yet, not here, never here, they’ll—— _

Xe does not know what they will do to xer, if xe leaves Larry’s body, but xe does not mind the risk for very long; they keep torturing him, they continue to drain the life and will out of this man, and Keeg cannot bear it—-xe has to save him, to end this.

So xe kills the agents. It is entirely too simple.

This will have  _ consequences,  _ xe knows. But it’s Larry. It’s  _ Larry. _

Xe would do  _ anything—- _

_ for—- _

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> kudos/feedback appreciated. i will edit htis later


End file.
